Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
