he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
