So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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