He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
