i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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