Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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