margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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