I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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