What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
