he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
