He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
