Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
