you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
