i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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