Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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