Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
