no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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