so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
