yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
