We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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