I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
