I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
