when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
