Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
