wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
