Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
