Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i now understand why vodka
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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