with your own penis?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
