We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
