Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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