Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
