She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
