I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
