Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
