You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
