ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
