Plan B is the new Plan A
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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