Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
