I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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