HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
