she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
