i can't believe i had my finger in that
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
