Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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