So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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