I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
