but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
