she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's blow job season.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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