i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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