Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
