I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
